Worst and Best

Worst Thing of Today
Domestic chores pilin’ up…the dishes always seem to get dirty again, the bed always needs to be made, the laundry just will not stay clean, and the grass insists on growing…dammit

Best Thing of Today
Great steaks at our favourite pub

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Library Card Nostalgia

Was speaking to an old friend yesterday. She and I were bemoaning the loss of the library borrowing cards that used to be stuck in the back of books. It was such a lovely way to track back who had read the book previously, and it was often quite a surprise to discover the borrowing record of friends and acquaintances.

Just did a bit of a google search and came across this post.

Best and Worst

Best Thing of Today
Homemade pizzas

Worst Thing of Today
Cheese and tomato and onion and sausage and baking trays scattered ’round my kitchen

Worst and Best

Worst Thing of Today
Hectic, crazy, non-stop, crisis-filled work day

Best Thing of Today
Managed to feel calm and joyful and good-humoured, despite above…weird

Best and Worst

Best Thing of Today
The smell of an electrical storm as I stepped outside my front door this evening; the black silhouettes of gum trees against a deep orange strip of sky, below an angry grey line of storm clouds; walking up a friend’s steps surrounded by sweet, fragrant, freshly-planted flowers whose aromatics had been released by the rain 

Worst Thing of Today
Coming home tonight to find that HL’s evening consisted of putting away groceries, washing up, and cleaning cat poo from our tan couch…poor husband

Worst and Best

Worst Thing of Today
Waking up with a start at 5.40am, reminded by the loud clanging outside that today was Garbage Day, and I hadn’t put my garbage out. I padded out in my jarmies, in the half-light, to deliver both bins to the curb – in time, fortunately.

Best Thing of Today
The Darjeeling Limited – beautiful, gentle, ‘slap-you-in-the-face-with-symbolism’, subtle, well-cast…The movie structure itself evoked the ‘chugga, chugga’ rhythm of a train – it was lovely.

Christmas – bah humbug?

Christmas is coming.

Around this time last year I didn’t really want Christmas to come. Christmas has always been my favourite time of the year; the high point of the year’s arc. But, at this time last year, my life felt a bit crappy, and Christmas – the hoopla of it all – seemed so overwhelming.

I’d been working for the previous 3 years at a local software company, and, I say this with no exaggeration, it was the most demoralising, draining, hurtful, undermining, confidence-stealing, soul-destroying employment I have ever had. At the end of the 3 years I didn’t feel like myself; I wasn’t even sure of what my skills and gifts and abilities were anymore. My manager would tell me I ‘wasn’t as talented as I thought I was’, blame me for mistakes he made, set up staff against each other, play favourites, treat many hard-working, honest, loyal, clever, mature, wise, trustworthy, responsible, long-term employees as naughty, deceitful children – worst job I’d ever had.

I lost myself. Depression was always lurking, and frequently close to the surface. The problem was that I was so beaten down that I couldn’t see a way out, couldn’t believe that I would be able to find another job because, apparently, my skill set was so low (read: under-appreciated) that I should just be grateful to have a job.

Inertia was my enemy. I couldn’t muster enthusiasm for anything, particularly not finding a new job, and, Christmas? Who could be bothered to prepare anything? It was just all too much work. So, I didn’t. I just sat at my desk every day, sinking, and came home at the end of each day and sank into both my couch, and a depressive coma. I couldn’t be bothered to prepare meals, let alone write the annual Caradoc Christmas letter. Any Christmas planning was forced and joyless.

This from a freak who so completely ‘discovered’ her childlike Christmas glee while living in beautiful and Christmas-crazy Seattle, that she shipped back to Australia 4 huge boxes of affectionately-named ‘Christmas crap’, can’t walk past a store with ‘Christmas crap’ in the window without pressing her nose up to the window and sighing wistfully that she can’t own it all, and who normally begins planning ‘Christmas crap’ decorating sometime in October. So, I was dreading Christmas.

And then, a miracle. I was fired. There was a ‘restructuring of the business’ and almost my entire department (a dozen or so) were, ‘regrettably’, no longer required. It was a shock…but it wasn’t. It was scary…but it wasn’t. It was a ‘sucker punch’ to the gut…but it wasn’t. It was a relief…yep, pure relief. My situation had been changed for me, when I no longer had the capacity to change it for myself.

And, at that point, HL didn’t have a job either. So, there we were, heading to Christmas, neither of us working, and I was just so grateful. Christmas was a bit lean last year, but so much more joyful than I had expected it to be.

Both of us, also miraculously, ended up falling into work that is right and appropriate for each of us at this present moment (HL driving cabs, and me working at a school, which I love) and I’m planning for Christmas, joyfully.

Best and Worst

Best Thing of Today
I asked HL what our best thing of today was: he said “Breakfast burrito”…We made sausage and egg grilled stuft burritos this morning – ’twas good

Worst Thing of Today
Lethargy, and a bit of a waste of a rare shared weekend day…but it was lovely to just hang with my husband

Kitchen Light

Morning Coffee

Morning Coffee

Best and Worst

Best Thing of Today
The blissful feeling of a cool shower, clean clothes, and a big glass of water, after finishing the lawn mowing

Worst Thing of Today
Breakfast plans to celebrate a friend’s birthday didn’t eventuate

Just shut up

Watched Noise this evening. Though the guy was clearly overly obsessed, he, nonetheless, struck a real chord. The older I get, the more sensory overload is an issue for me. Sometimes, at the end of a day in front of the computer, my eyes and ears and brain are all jittery, and it’s such a relief to turn everything off and sit, enjoying the cessation of input.

Worst and Best

Worst Thing of Today
Realising at the last minute that there was some urgent work stuff to get done before the weekend, and running out of time to do it…pfft…it’ll keep till Monday

Best Thing of Today
Pizza, good NZ wine, cassis, ice-cream and homemade caramel sauce, and old episodes of Mother and Son

Worst and Best

Worst Thing of Today
Starting the day off with an argument in the car on the way to work

Best Thing of Today
The trip home after work was much better – milkshakes, mobile phone shopping, birthday present shopping (found the perfect gift in the first shop I went into, in the first 5 minutes of looking), and kindness

American Things That I Miss #5

Mexican food

I love bean burritos. We have them as a quick meal 2 or 3 times a week, on average. A simple smear of refried beans, some melted cheese, diced onions, and burrito sauce on a flour tortilla, microwaved for a minute – delicious. I’d never had a bean burrito till I went to the States.

Mexican’s not so big here. It’s more of an exotic, ethnic, special occasion kinda food. There aren’t many  Mexican restaurants to choose from – even in the big cities – let alone Mexican fast food.

I miss Taco Bell. HL and I were reminiscing today about 69 cent bean burritos, soft tacos, gorditas, grilled stuft burritos, taquitos, quesadillas, (which my dad pronounced kwesa dillaz – we still tease him about that)…even mexenuggets.

I miss having a Mexican restaurant on every corner and choosing the best one to pop in to for a cheap Sunday lunch, family dinners at Azteca (the fajitas are the best – I can hear the sizzle of the plate coming out from the kitchen), staff lunches at the local family-run Mexican place, with the best salsa verde, churros at the annual fair…

Crap…now I’m hungry, and there’s no place to go to feed my Mexican appetite.

Best and Worst

Best Thing of Today
An inexplicable feeling of graciousness, and bonhomie, and goodwill towards people, in general

Worst Thing of Today
Frustration, and irritation, and resignation towards a person, in specific…I’m going to bed…too annoyed to write anything long, maybe tomorrow

Best and Worst

Best Thing of Today
The depressive fog is lifting somewhat, and I’m feeling somewhat greater motivation and productivity…it’s good

Worst Thing of Today
Work madhouse – sick kid after sick kid, stupid question after stupid question, hailstorm after hailstorm (ok, there was only one hailstorm)

Joy-bringers

Cheesy, but true.

Kitten

Kitten

Other Kitten

Other Kitten

Worst and Best

Worst Thing of Today
Lots of annoying, niggly things today…unable to upload and correctly display some photos, so I gave up; overly-dramatic phone messages; having to leave work early due to awkward female health issues…blah, blah, blah

Best Thing of Today
An unexpected afternoon at home with HL, watching movies and taking a nap

Best and Worst

Best Thing of Today
Lying in bed with a husband sleeping next to me, and both cats under the covers; one asleep on my foot, and one lying between HL and I, purring so loud and chirrupy I’m surprised she didn’t fracture her purrer

Worst Thing of Today
Mum and Dad over for dinner and Dad was sick, so he spent the whole visit asleep on the couch (lots of sleeping going on today)

Worst and Best

Worst Thing of Today
Today was good…I’d be nit-picking to find anything really ‘worst’…HL just reminded me that he put Tabasco Sauce (extra bleurk) on my burrito, accidentally, so, I s’pose that’s the ‘worst’

Best Thing of Today
Coming home to find the bed made up with fresh sheets, dinner ready, and HL in a exceptional mood

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