Reasons I’m Grateful For My Husband #3

I’m a bit nosy.

I don’t mean to be, I think it comes from trying to be ‘helpful’, trying to ‘fix things’ for people. I’m quite socially aware, always paying attention to what’s going on around me, especially in terms of people and relationships and interactions. When I see a situation that’s potentially awkward or embarassing or painful I feel the need to intervene and insert humour, or smooth ruffled feathers, or avert an humiliating scene.

And that’s all good and well.

But, I seem to feel responsible for things that aren’t my responsibility: worrying about hurt feelings when I have done nothing to cause them and can do nothing to soothe them; intervening in arguments/discussions/questionings that have nothing to do with me; being concerned that people don’t have ‘all the information’ and trying to give it to them; feeling irritated that ‘that person shouldn’t be doing that, it’s wrong’.

I don’t know why I do it. Maybe it’s something to do with being uncomfortable with conflict, feeling empathetic, being a bit judgmental…who knows…but it’s not healthy.

HL isn’t like that as much. He’s more of the ‘Who cares? That’s their business.’ kinda school. Not that he’s uncaring about people, but he’s not burdened in the way that I tend to be. And I’ve learnt so much from that. It’s not always up to me to ‘fix things’. I don’t always have to remove all social awkardness. I don’t have to patch up other people’s arguments. It’s not my job to be weighed down by situations I didn’t cause and can’t solve. I don’t have to be in ‘other people’s bidness’. I can’t live other people’s lives for them.

And I’m grateful for that influence from HL, that tempers my drive to insert myself into places where I’m not needed.

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