I feel smothered and I can feel the hysterical scream in my throat that I have to swallow and I have to grit my teeth so I don’t spit tension and I need space to fail out of eyesight so I can fall apart without overwhelming concern that will make me feel as though I have to scratch eyes out so they don’t look with pity and I need silence so I can drown the chaotic noise that makes my eyes dull and distance to regain equilibrium and wisdom to dominate so I can think and restore perspective and closeness to stop the feeling of disconnection and I feel a tight chest and a resentful heart and a cynical and mistrustful head that are drained: of humour; of good judgment; of confidence; of hopefulness…

Maybe I’m just overtired


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